Beating upwind on port, I bore away to duck behind a starboard boat, and she bore away too, straight down onto me. She has right of way, so is it my fault?

No — she is penalized. Upwind, a port-tack boat sailing to pass to leeward of a starboard-tack boat is keeping clear. When the right-of-way boat changes course she must give you room to keep clear (Rule 16.1), and Rule 16.2 goes further: on a beat to windward she shall not bear away if, as a result, you must change course immediately to keep clearing her. She broke Rule 16; you were compelled to break Rule 10, so you are exonerated (Rule 43.1(a)). Don't chase the duck.

📖 Want Rule 16 in more depth? Elvstrøm Explains the Racing Rules 2025-2028 sets out every rule with plain-English explanations and diagrams. (affiliate link)

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Next on this shelf — The Upwind Beat